That job interview from hell

I didn’t say this at the interview.

I had an awful job interview last month.

It was for a sales position with a huge multinational company. I did my research. I dressed up. I brought a leather brief for my stuff. I arrived early. Seems like everything would have gone well, right? Wrong.

I knew I was toast as soon as the interviewer came down to the lobby to fetch me. She was wearing a casual summer dress. No make-up. She looked like a regular human being. I looked like a corporate drone. Oh god, I look pretentious.

Another interviewer was waiting for us in the boardroom. Also wearing a casual summer dress. Are my heels too high? Am I overdressed? I look like I took a wrong turn off Bay Street (our version of Wall Street). Oh god, I look pretentious.

I straightened out my back. I put on a big smile. Let’s do this.

They got right down to business. I expected an ice-breaker–an exchange of light hearted humor, some small talk, anything! Ever had sex without foreplay? That’s what this interview felt like. I felt slightly offended. Didn’t I deserve the dog and pony show that these interviews usually entail?

They threw behavioural questions at me. The inexperienced new grad that I was, I’ve never answered a behavioural question in my life. I panicked and went into self-preservation mode. A confident smile was permanently plastered on my face for 45 minutes while I spoke in a calm voice and bullshitted answered their questions. I didn’t let them see how uncomfortable I really was. I couldn’t let these unwelcoming hens with their cushy jobs and economic security intimidate me.

They didn’t look interested or impressed by anything I was saying. Everything was flat. They were flat. I was flat. The air in the room was flat.

I reached for my purse as I got up to leave. One of the interviewers quipped, “Oh, you have a Coach purse That’s…nice.” The stupid smile was still on my face. I reluctantly thanked her, said my goodbyes, and left.

Oh god, I look pretentious.

I immediately felt like shit and went home to gorge on frozen yogurt. Got my formal rejection letter in my inbox a few days later. My hunt continues!

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