Irrational fears

Almost everyone I know is afraid of spiders. They crawl around your room, quietly observing you. Creepy. But, I’m not afraid of spiders. I don’t kill them. I don’t evict them from my home. I let them stay. Logically speaking, that spider is my ally, because it’s killing all of the other bugs in lieu of paying part of the rent. Works for me!

Although my lack of arachnophobia makes me sound like I’m not human, I still have irrational fears like everyone else.

Inspired by Ronald McDonald…perhaps?

Without further ado, here is a list of my irrational fears:

  1. The Goosebumps song. This is scarier than anything I’ve ever seen on the show.
  2. That thing under my bed. Ah yes, an irrational fear that has followed me throughout childhood, my teens, and finally, my early 20’s. To this day, every arm and leg will be located on the mattress at all times. Not dangling off the bed. And not left exposed (i.e. not covered by the blanket).
  3. Leaving the stove on. Remember that scene from Friends when Rachel thought she left the stove on, and Ross said “You haven’t cooked since 1996!” Yeah…
  4. Murderers hiding behind the closed shower curtain. And for this reason, the curtain will always remain open. If the curtain is ever closed, the person hiding behind the curtain will receive a surprise sucker punch.
  5. Clowns. I really shouldn’t be afraid of clowns. I’ve been to the circus. I’ve been to lame birthday parties with clowns. I’ve been to Cirque du Soleil. But, I’ve also seen “It” so clowns are fucking scary, okay?! Why are they always smiling so sinisterly? WHY?!
  6. Mirrors in the dark. I don’t think I need to say more.
  7. Dolls. You know the ones…Big blue eyes. Curly blonde hair. Sometimes they blink at you. Some people collect them, and have rows upon rows of dolls on their shelves. Terrifying.

What are your irrational fears? Sound off in the comments below!


4 thoughts on “Irrational fears

  1. I agree. Dolls are creepy, I cannot understand why people keep them in their houses.

    I have a (completely irrational) fear of the “Inspector Gadget” theme.
    It’s the bonus track on the ‘Five’ album but it’s preceeded by roughly 40 minutes of silence. When I was a kid I thought I’d shut the CD player off but it was just playing the silence before the song and I nearly had a heart attack when it started blasting out this music. I haven’t been able to listen to it since.

  2. I should not have read this post this late at night. You pretty much listed all my irrational fears! I thought I was the only one still afraid of the thing under my bed. And clowns! Thank you so much IT! Just this Saturday, I happened to be walking by a cemetery when a clown drove by and parked behind me. I felt like I was in the opening scene of a horror movie.

  3. I firmly disagree that almost everyone has ‘arachnophobia’. Yes, they may dislike spiders, and want to be rid of them ASAP, but that alone doesn’t constitute a phobia. I have a phobia, and I can guarantee you it’s much worse than many people’s dislike of spiders. It makes a mockery of the word ‘phobia’ and people don’t take it as seriously because they will now assume that it’s no worse than their opinion on spiders, etc.

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