Almost everyone I know is afraid of spiders. They crawl around your room, quietly observing you. Creepy. But, I’m not afraid of spiders. I don’t kill them. I don’t evict them from my home. I let them stay. Logically speaking, that spider is my ally, because it’s killing all of the other bugs in lieu of paying part of the rent. Works for me!
Although my lack of arachnophobia makes me sound like I’m not human, I still have irrational fears like everyone else.
Without further ado, here is a list of my irrational fears:
- The Goosebumps song. This is scarier than anything I’ve ever seen on the show.
- That thing under my bed. Ah yes, an irrational fear that has followed me throughout childhood, my teens, and finally, my early 20’s. To this day, every arm and leg will be located on the mattress at all times. Not dangling off the bed. And not left exposed (i.e. not covered by the blanket).
- Leaving the stove on. Remember that scene from Friends when Rachel thought she left the stove on, and Ross said “You haven’t cooked since 1996!” Yeah…
- Murderers hiding behind the closed shower curtain. And for this reason, the curtain will always remain open. If the curtain is ever closed, the person hiding behind the curtain will receive a surprise sucker punch.
- Clowns. I really shouldn’t be afraid of clowns. I’ve been to the circus. I’ve been to lame birthday parties with clowns. I’ve been to Cirque du Soleil. But, I’ve also seen “It” so clowns are fucking scary, okay?! Why are they always smiling so sinisterly? WHY?!
- Mirrors in the dark. I don’t think I need to say more.
- Dolls. You know the ones…Big blue eyes. Curly blonde hair. Sometimes they blink at you. Some people collect them, and have rows upon rows of dolls on their shelves. Terrifying.
What are your irrational fears? Sound off in the comments below!