I Am Anti-Valentine’s Day

Single Person’s Awareness Day (more popularly known as Valentine’s Day) is coming up.

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This about sums it up!

I’m not bitter about being single–honest. I hate Public Displays of Affection, because it’s just awkward. I dislike watching rosy-cheeked couples walking down the street and living their idyllic coupley lives for all to see. I like seeing happy people living healthy and happy lives. I dislike people who rub it in everyone’s face.

It’s probably not a surprise then, that I absolutely hate Katherine Heigl films. And has anyone seen Serendipity? Let me sum it up for you. A man and a woman meet. Sparks fly. Then they go their separate ways, leaving clues behind. If they stumble upon the clues (a phone number scrawled on a dollar bill and a name scribbled in a book), they will find each other and live happily ever after. Sorry to ruin it, but these people are a bunch of assholes. They literally ditch their longtime significant others (one of them is ditched before their wedding) for each other because “it’s fate.” How terrible would that be in real life?

But I digress.

I hate Valentine’s Day for the same reasons I hate Christmas. Aside from being ridiculously cheapened and commercialized, it’s a social obligation. There are expectations. The stakes are high. What makes VDay worse than Xmas is that all of your female Facebook friends are competitively posting their VDay surprises and gifts to compare with their friends and make everyone else feel like shit show their hubby how appreciative they are.

Secondly, VDay is similar to Xmas in that poor, lonely, and poor and lonely people are totally excluded. Can’t afford a big bouquet of overpriced roses? You don’t love her. Can’t buy her a new diamond bracelet like the one her best friend’s man got her? You obviously don’t deserve her.

Back to what I was saying about expectations… Holy shit are there expectations on VDay. Perhaps even more so than on Xmas. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or taken, you will be dealing with expectations–your own, your SO’s, and often those of your friends/coworkers/family. You have to be romantic. You have to be original. And most importantly, you have to be genuine. If you don’t WOW your SO, you’re gonna have a bad night. And so will your SO. So you’d better make it big. And let them take pictures and post all over Facebook.

And on that note, how can romance be planned? Mind you, I appreciate the positive effects of VDay expectations on married and/or busy couples. It encourages people to slow down, and appreciate each other.

Personally, I think that spontaneous romance is best. VDay is cheap. Spontaneous romance catches you off guard, and you know what? You know it’s genuine.

As for the single people… The best way to spend VDay is with your friends. A gaggle of gals getting together for dinner and a cheesy chick flick is an excellent way to spend the night. It actually sounds much more fun than a night with your SO and your expectations.

To be honest, I never liked VDay, regardless of whether I was single. I tried to plan anti-Valentine’s dates with SO’s to get away from the cheesiness of the holiday. Other times, I went out with girlfriends and had a great time.

As for me, I’ll be throwing Molotov Cocktails into Hallmark, and calling strangers’ homes, asking if their husbands are free again.

What are your plans?

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2 thoughts on “I Am Anti-Valentine’s Day

  1. Totally agree! (also Serendipity sounds ridiculous). How do you feel about birthdays out of curiosity?

    • I don’t harbour as much disdain for birthdays. It’s a bit silly and a tad narcissistic to celebrate your own existence, especially if you’re organizing your own party. Even worse, a lot of girls (amongst my friends, for sure) get bratty, shrieking “but it’s MY BIRTHDAY” if they’re not the center of attention. It’s ridiculous and nobody gives a shit, but it gives everyone an excuse to get drunk.

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