Women tend not to like other women.
If you’re a woman, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re a dude who pays attention to how women interact with each other, be it on TV or watching your girlfriend and her friends, you know what I’m talking about.
But first, my obligatory ice-breaker:
So why are women mean to other women? Seriously, have you ever wondered why a good friendship of yours went sour? Why did she start acting passive-aggressively towards you, and try to get back at you with backhanded compliments and turning people against you?
Guys, have you ever wondered why your girlfriend acts like she absolutely adores someone, only to turn around, roll her eyes, and say “Ugh, I HATE her. She’s such a bitch!”
Why do women do this? We’re all guilty of being vicious towards another woman at some point in our lives. Why do we waste our time and energy on pointless emotional warfare? What ever happened to “say what you mean and mean what you say” or “treat others the way you want to be treated?”
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to decipher every message. I want to take things (somewhat) at face value, and not second-guess another woman’s compliment or intentions. I want to have solid girlfriends I can trust, and not be constantly walking on eggshells.
Here’s a really awesome article from the Huffington Post about why women tend to be mean to other women.
Here are some insightful bits from the article:
our looks are still up there on the checklist of our success as women. It is on our checklist in an arbitrary omnipresent way that we did not necessarily invite. Perhaps we once made it a priority. Perhaps others made it a priority and we correspondingly internalized it by default.
Looks do not define men like they still define women, even in the most serious platforms in the world. This is a beautiful but ugly remnant of a time when women were the trophies and property of men, when our entire worth was once based on appearance, pedigree, purity and child-bearing ability.
There’s so much more, but I won’t post all of it here. Read the article, it’s insightful, I promise.
Aside from women being valued for their appearance, I would also like to add that upbringing plays a major role in how women deal with confrontation. You see, girls are raised to be kind and non-confrontational. Sounds great in theory, but it’s actually fucked up. Instead of addressing conflict directly, girls (and later, women) act passive-aggressively towards the other person, hoping that person will notice and be hurt.
Guys, ever asked your girlfriend “what’s wrong?!” after an hour of her sulking before getting a real answer? Girls, ever sulked for an hour and refused to tell your man what’s wrong, hoping he would figure it out?
Yeah. Some of us don’t know how to deal with confrontation. We got punished by our parents and teachers for being confrontational, and generally, “not nice.” So we confront people the only way we know how, with emotional warfare.
The bottom line is that we engage in emotional warfare to have the upper hand when we feel powerless. We think that other women, whether they’re prettier, more successful, smarter or funnier than us, are taking that power away from us.
What do you think?