Remember when we were all in elementary school and we got awards for just showing up? I distinctly remember getting a little purple ribbon (everyone got one, actually) which said “Participation Award” in honourary golden letters.
So, naturally, my first response was “What the hell is this?” Everyone got rewarded just for showing up. Mind you, we all had to show up. All classes came to a screeching halt every time Track and Field Day came around. The only way you could avoid participating was by hiding at home, accompanied by a bag of pork rinds, you fat fuck.
I just couldn’t understand why we were rewarded for something we were essentially forced to do, every year.
But I digress.
I got an award, y’all.
Stressingoutcollege nominated me for a bunch of awards. She also mentioned that I’m beautiful and awesome, which you should all believe because she has all of the answers to life. Seriously, she does. Check out her blog.
Now, now. There are rules and procedures that have to be followed here. Please be patient.
My Answers to the Top-Secret Screening Questions
- Paper or plastic?
Paper. Oh god, paper.
- Hobbes or Rousseau?
Hobbes. It’s all about the Social Contract, baby.
- What’s the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
- To Snuggie or not to Snuggie?
I tried it and it didn’t work out. I couldn’t understand why I needed my blanket to have sleeves and why my back was uncovered. Maybe I was doing it wrong, I don’t know.
- And, er… what’s your favorite day of the year?
Halloween, hands down. I just love dressing up and getting into character. My best one so far was Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction.
Obligatory 5 Random Facts About This City Girl:
1. Someone tried to mug me about two years ago. I was so startled that I started laughing nervously… Then, hysterically. The thug/lowlife got the fuck out of there fast, and I got to keep my wallet and cellphone 🙂 Moral of the story: if someone tries to mug you, start laughing and try to look crazy. Disclaimer: If they appear to be hopped up on drugs, just comply with them, because your craziness will probably invoke aggressiveness.
2. Like everyone else educated in Ontario, I sometimes like to parler en Francais randomly quand je speak. For those of you who didn’t go to school here and don’t know what I’m referring to…the French program in regular schools leaves a lot to be desired, and leaves its students speaking half French, half English, half the time.
3. I love spiders and let them live in my home rent-free. I assure you, this is purely utilitarian.
4. I’m currently reading “Spy the Lie” by Phil Houston and company. It’s about CIA deception detection techniques. I’m only reading it so I can get better at lying, because quite frankly, I suck and it’s embarrassing.
5. When I was 5, my parents told me I was going to go live with our family friends in the country (as a joke, obviously). I believed them and quickly packed my backpack, while fantasizing about my future Barbie playroom in their giant house.
Without further ado, I will pass the torch to a few other individuals who have tickled me pink lately.
In no particular order:
Versatile Blogger Award
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Thank and link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.
1. The Liebster Award is given by bloggers to bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
2. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.
3. Each blogger should answer the 11 questions given to you.
4. Choose 11 new bloggers to pass the award on to and link them in your post.
5. Create 11 new questions for the chosen bloggers.
6. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.
7. No tag backs.
Very Inspiring Blogger Award
1. Display the award logo.
2. Link back to the person who gave you this award nomination.
3. State seven pieces of information about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers, post links to their page and drop them a comment to let them know.
Super Sweet Blogger Award
1. Thank the Super Sweet Blogger that nominated them
2. Answer five super sweet questions and five of your own
3. Include the Super Sweet Blogging award image in your blog post
4. Nominate a baker’s dozen (13) other bloggers
5. Notify your nominees on their blog
And last, but not least, my 5 questions to you.
1. What were you known for in high school?
2. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
3. Cat person or dog person?
4. What do you need to be happy?
5. What’s your favourite food?