Office Gossip


The only kind of vacation that doesn’t require you to go anywhere–and pays!

My boss is on vacation and naturally, nobody is actually doing any work.

There’s a lady at my office who is the designated–self appointed, if we’re going to be honest–office gossip.

She knows everything about everyone. And everyone knows everything about her.

Her name is Ann. I’m okay with using her real name because it’s such a common name that it doesn’t really matter!

Ann came into my office today to chat. Ann likes to chat. She’s really chatty, and sometimes it’s hard to get her to leave, so I find myself walking her back to her office and leaving her there. It usually works.

Today, Ann came in to tell me about how stupid her husband is. For the record, her husband works at the same company as us–that’s how they met. But he’s in a completely different department like 5 floors below my office.

Ann and her husband have 2 small children and a nice house in a middle-class neighbourhood. Her husband is the burly hard-working type who likes to have a beer and put his feet up after work. Very stereotypical. Ann is stereotypical too. She’s tall, thin, well put together with perfectly coiffed blonde hair, and plays “mother hen” to all of the young girls on my floor.

She’s fucking annoying, that one.

So she comes in and starts telling me about her husband and what he did. For the record, I don’t encourage this sort of thing. I think it’s reaaaallly bad to complain about your SO to other people, especially if they know him. It’s really disrespectful, and it’s better to keep some things private. Nobody likes having their dirty laundry aired.

She came in and told me her husband is a moron….because he’s having an affair and didn’t even try to conceal it. You know how some guys use a secret bank account to pay for secret dates, and even have an extra cell phone hidden in their car for secret phone calls? Yeah, not this guy.

They share an iPad at home. It’s actually his iPad, she just uses it sometimes. So she picked it up one day and clicked on the little search bar in Safari to look something up. His previous search history drops down immediately. I don’t know if I’m explaining this properly, I don’t have an iPad, so bear with me.

Her eyes casually wander down the list. He had some random search terms like NHL, BestBuy, Amazon, Craigslist Casual, Socks…

Wait, what was that one? Craigslist Casual? She clicks on it and it takes her to the Craigslist website….where only one link is purple (i.e. was accessed in the past). The casual encounters section. If you’re not familiar with this part of Craigslist, it’s where people go to find other people to bang.

She clicked on it and scrolled up and down the section–clicking on every purple link she saw. She says there were a few.

Then she got an even better idea. She went into the e-mail app on the iPad, which pools all of their e-mails, and skimmed through his e-mail.

Not only did he make up an elaborate double life for himself, but he acted on it. He took someone out on a date and had sex with her at her house (obviously, because bringing his date home to his wife would have been too stupid).

I couldn’t tell if she was angry because he betrayed her. Or if she was angry because he was so stupid about it. Or maybe because he didn’t respect her enough to cover it up, much less not do it in the first place.

I now, officially, know everything about this woman. I didn’t know what she wanted me to do with this information.

She didn’t look hurt or like she wanted comfort. So I just stared at her, shocked, until she left and went into the next person’s office.


9 thoughts on “Office Gossip

  1. Oh my goodness!!! Wow I had no idea this happened in real life, especially after the craigslist killer (yes, may have watched the Lifetime movie on that one time)

    <3, Charlotte

  2. Ooof…this just reminds me of the time when my former supervisor pulled me into her office “because she needed to talk to me”. I was terrified, but the moment she closed the door, she burst into tears and said, “My husband wants to end our marriage!”

  3. Maybe she would have been more upset if she had caught him doing something like…going through her emails? Mm. ???

Kat's not here right now...leave a message after the beep. Beep.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s