Questions a twentysomething hates being asked

Here they are, in no particular order. Feel free to add some more in the comments section below.

  • What do you do? Nothing, shithead. I lay on the couch at home all day, agonizing about how the world just doesn’t know how wonderful I am…yet.
  • Why don’t you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. Wait, do they have to know about it? Because then no. Or maybe yes.
  • Why did you study that? That’s such a useless major. Because my plan was to be perpetually unemployed upon graduating thousands of dollars in the hole.
  •  So when are you going to get a boyfriend/girlfriend? Fuck you, I am perfectly content with cats.
  • What are you going to do after graduation? Cry myself to sleep, because I’ll be forced to enter the real world with like responsibilities and shit.
  • When are you two getting married? If you’re under the age of 25, look at them as if they’re insane. In, fucking, sane.
  • Why don’t you want kids? Because kids are a walking, noisy little calendar! That’s why! The expiry date on my passport (ahem, every five years) is enough to remind me that time is slipping through my hands. 
  • How are you? Goddammit, this is not even a real question! They don’t mean it! It’s a goddamn greeting!

And last but not least…what are your plans for the future? This question alone, is enough to send even the most confident twentysomething into a panic.


6 thoughts on “Questions a twentysomething hates being asked

  1. Argh! I hate the graduation and future questions. Just leave me the hell alone ! Did you know what the frick you wanted to know when you were 20? I didn’t think so – so f*ck off!

    (Ahem. Pardon my anger.)

  2. Are you the same Kat from Corporette?

  3. You always make me smile! 🙂 It’s amazing how many completely useless questions we get asked in life…believe me, this is just the beginning.

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