Office Revenge

I gave in my two weeks recently.

October 4 cannot come fast enough.

I’m quietly doing my work and pulling shenanigans on my coworkers to keep myself entertained. Also because I’m passive-aggressive and I will have my revenge. I will have it!

Oh, you treated me like a personal servant for months? Now your mouse won’t work because I’ve unplugged it while you were away from your desk. And you won’t figure it out because you don’t understand computers. Yes, there’s a special place in hell for people like me.

Oh, you made up rumours about me and my supervisor because I got promoted? I will hide a fish juice-soaked sock in your vent…directly…above…your head.

Oh, you snubbed me at lunch and were a total dick the whole time I worked here? That’s it, I’m deleting Google Chrome off your desktop and installing Internet Explorer. That’ll show you, dick. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to download your precious Google Chrome because Internet Explorer will crash every time you launch it.

Oh, you’re a chauvinistic pig whose wife (who works with us) opens the mail? I will buy a big black dildo, wrap it (to accentuate the unique shape, of course) and ship it to you.

It’s on like Donkey Kong, beetches.



2 thoughts on “Office Revenge

  1. Ha. I was googling silly meme pictures of chronic b.!tch face and stumbled across your post about ppl having kids. You are not alone. My wife and I find it increasingly hard to find cool people who haven’t thrown their young freedom away. I especially hate how these f ups like acting all smug. I mean, if you were too dumb to not jimmy up you’ve kind of lost all credibility. What’s also sad is no one immune. I’m an engineer and I remember I had a co worker who just got married and he immediately got his wife pregnant. I asked, “isn’t she going to school?” He said “she’ll only take one class until we can leave the baby with a sitter” then I said “ok. That’s all good but, she’s going to school for a degree. When she’s done she’ll want a career in what she spent all her/your money on learning. So what about the kid?” His response “we haven’t thought of that”. I mean come on. COME ON! Uhhhhh

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